Ms. Fix-it

Something odd just occurred at my house. My son just walked downstairs to tell me that his shower needs fixing, something about the water pressure and temperature. Nothing unusual about that.
The odd part - he walked right by my husband (who happens to be home this week) to ask me.
I'm not sure if I should be proud that he recognizes that his Mom can fix many things around the house or saddened that he did not even think to ask his father to fix it.

quote of the day

Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation.

Kin Hubbard (1868 - 1930)

Memories for my son

I was speaking with my father, who is now retired, and we were discussing different things he could do to keep busy in the winter months, when he is stuck inside due to the poor weather. Some how or another, we got side tracked, and he started to tell me about how he and my late uncle would go on Mondays, when our family business was closed, to their gun club for shooting practice and this led to other memories. As he was recalling some of his adventures, I realized that there is so little that I know about his life, especially as a child. I had given him a book, years ago, on Father's Day, which was titled something like "A Father's Memories". It is a journal type book that has questions that prompts you to write down various events in your life. My dad said that he "was not a writer, that he wouldn't know what to write". Personally, I just want any link into his past, I don't care about the grammar or the spelling. I want the history.
After getting off the phone with him, I went to file some papers and I found one of those same books on MY bookshelf. I did not even realize I had one.
Mine is organized by months, with the idea that you write down one memory per day. Some of the prompts are rather silly, like "When did you get your first bible? Who gave it to you?" , others are more along the line of the memories I would like to record, like "What is one of your favorite memories of your sibling/s?"
Since I saw this as a hint from powers greater than me, I sat down and wrote, and wrote, and wrote. I did about a months worth of memories. I want my son to have my history, to have the answers to those silly questions that I might not recall later on in life. It is also a good tool for my nephew, since many of memories are tied into memories with his mother (my twin). I'm hoping that I continue to fill it out, for his sake.

Shopping does not always involve common sense

Jman and I went to the grocery store today, to do our bi-weekly shopping. Jman wanted to buy a pack of gum and had brought his own money, so I told him to go ahead and pick some out. My shopping cart was rather full, my cashier was a wee bit slow, and I did not want to have to wait for him to be rung up after me, so I told him to go over to the self-check out lane to pay for his gum. I noticed that he had a pack that was on sale, but he needed my shopper card to get the sale price, so I gave it to him (it was on my key chain).
I finish getting rung out and notice that Jman still has not returned. I can see him at the self check-out, which now has an incredibly long line all standing behind him. I wheeled my shopping cart over as I see the attendant walk to speak to him. As I get into hearing range I hear them ask "where's your mom". I speak up, and they explain to me that he is trying to pay for his gum with the shopper card. I laughed, since it did not even occur to me that I would have to tell him what it was used for, since he has been shopping with me since he was a baby and I always use a shopper card. Of course, how would he know, as he explained it, he doesn't pay attention when I ring out my groceries. Yes, he has seen me use the card, but he did not realize that it was not like a credit card. "You should have told me Mom, I didn't know!". Of course, I bring up the fact that when he walked over the lane he had his money in hand and why would he think that I was going to "pay" for his gum with my "card", and why would I send him to another shopping lane if I am going to pay for it anyway, wouldn't I just add to my cart of groceries?
I did feel bad for him, since he was embarrassed that he did not know better, but honestly, would you have thought that you needed to tell your child how to use the shopper card? What other "common sense" things do I need to tell him about?

President's Day

Many years ago when we lived closer to family, my folks came out to visit us on President's day. My dear son, who had to be about 4 at the time, happily greeted my parents, and said to them that it was President's day, weren't they excited. My mother was amazed that my son had any concept of this holiday, and was in awe that he actually was excited about it. He reached behind his back and gave my father a gift and then my mother a gift. He then asked if they had anything for him. They were confused (rightly so I might add), asked him why and he said again "It's Present's day".
You never know what little ears might hear or think they hear...

Weather

The weather that is swamping our nation right now is just crazy. I am so glad that I currently live in an area that is not prone to snow. True, we've gotten a bit of rain, but I would be very tired of shoveling out from the snow this winter. Another blizzard is set to strike the central states and the Northeast. Stay warm friends and family. I'll be thinking of you as I walk to work this morning.

What would you do if you were not in your current life?

Everyone I know has wondered once or twice, what would my life be like if I didn't get married, have kids, etc. It does not do much good to wonder, but I can't help but do it. I would not change my life now, but what if I took that other path, where would I be?

Well, if I did not have a child, I would probably still be an archaeologist. It was raising my son that stopped me from continuing my career, I decided to stay home when he was young, and to get a job which works around school hours as he got older. Even though we moved around a bit when we were first married, I was able to keep finding archaeology jobs, so I have confidence that I would be doing that if I did not have a child. It never paid much, but I know how to live frugally. Plus, my last archaeology gig was with the government, which would be a guaranteed salary, unlike some of my other archaeology jobs which relied on grant money.

If I had not gotten married and if my parents had steered me in my education choices instead of letting me randomly pick what I wanted to do, I believe I would be working for Doctor's Without Borders. I truly love the medical field (it was my alternate choice when deciding what I wanted to be when I grew up) and I would be "making a difference" which matters to me. Without having to worry about spouse or child I would be willing to place myself in more dangerous situations. I still contemplate this idea, or course there are few barriers, not the least being that I do not have a medical degree. I am contemplating correcting this, weighing my options, debating my fears, we'll see.

What would you do if you did not have children? If you were not married?

2010 - tough year so far

Sheesh, I was optimistic for this year to begin, but it has been a rough one. One friend had his son die over the holidays due to icy roads, another just lost the baby she was carrying (5mth along), hubby is possibly switching into a more dangerous job, sister has major surgery scheduled, and I have my abnormal test results to deal with...
What happened to 2010 being a good year,the start of the upturn? I can try to be positive, both hubby and son have their health, Jman has actually had his artwork submitted for competition again and has moved up a level in gymnastics, and I am still employed. I can appreciate the little things, like how listening to Blue October puts me in a peaceful mood, the weather is turning so that I can start walking to work again, and I am loved and supported by family and friends. Positive thinking, I have to maintain it, otherwise life will get the best of me, and I am not going to allow that.

Shark floor steamer and cleaner

So, as I mentioned in an earlier post, I received a Shark floor steamer/cleaner for Christmas, about which I was very excited. This little machine claims to steam sterilize your floor as cleans, absorbing all dirt into terry cloths pads on its head, which can then be laundered in the washing machine. It is for use on all solid sealed surfaces. No cleaning fluids are needed, it is just hot water dissolving the dirt.
This is a very light machine, easy to use, and fun to use (at least for me). It took a moment to warm up, but once it got going it was great. I could see it cleaning my floor by looking at the dirt on the cleaning head. The floor itself, didn't get wet like it does when you mop, just damp (this is a positive, I have tile floors and it is very slippery when wet). I had just mopped three days ago, using a traditional mop. When I finished with the Shark, the cleaning pad was very dirty, so it is picking up dirt that I had not known I was missing.
I was having so much fun that I decided to steam clean some, shall we say areas that it was not necessarily originally designed to clean. With a fresh pad, a cleaned my counter tops. What better area to have sterilized than the counters on which we prepare food? I had just Fantastik them less than a half hour ago and you would not have guessed that by looking at the cleaning pad, they were that dirty. So, since the Shark comes with 5 pads (2 rectangular, 2 triangle for hard to reach corners, and one terry-loop one), I decided to delegate one of them as my counter top cleaner by marking it with a permanent marker (Can you imagine mixing them up and using the bathroom one on your counters? Eww).
It is so easy to use, that I am going to let my child use it. I'm not worried about the steam burning him, since I'll change the head for him if need be (when you change the heads, the steam releases from that opening). It actually make floor cleaning fun, and I wanted to mop every other day, something that I would never want to do with a regular mop.

New Year's Resolutions

A new year has come and with it so many folks have created resolutions. Now, as loyal readers know, when I make a new year's resolution, I truly strive all year (if not permanently) to achieve it, so this year's resolution is...nothing. My hubby jokingly said "you don't need resolutions because you're perfect so you don't have to change anything".
That's not quite it. I have a feeling that this year will be better for many, but that there will be challenges that may prevent me from doing any of the normal resolutions, so I will not make them just to break them. I'm already on a fitness plan, so I don't have "work out" as an available resolution; we don't eat junk at my house, so "eating healthy" is already in place, and "spend more time with the family" was something I strived for and achieved this year. No, I really do not have any resolutions that I can think to do this year. Well there is one - I could go with a simple one, the one my hubby chose, which is to floss more often, but you know what? I probably would not keep that one either.

Happy Holidays

Whew, it's been awhile since I posted, I was caught up in holiday preparations. Our holidays have gone quite smoothly, almost surprisingly so. I decided to just make my homemade cinnamon rolls (made a few weeks in advance and frozen for Christmas morning), wine biscuits (easy recipe for a traditional Italian biscuit), and our traditional gingerbread men cookies, which we put out for Santa each year. This year we cut it close, making them a 7pm Christmas Eve., but we were not stressed over it, in fact, it made the evening go by quickly.
J man got everything he asked for on his list (he only asked for 6 things, and those were provided for by his relatives). We decided to get him a digital camera as our gift for him this Christmas. I was his age when I got my first 110 film camera. I remember taking picture after picture, then having to wait for the film to get developed. Jman gets instant pleasure from his. He loves taking photos and then modifying them on the computer, it is his artistic side coming out, and we like to encourage it. He did not ask for one, but he has been very excited using it. We did not realize that it did not come with a memory card, so he was panicking on Christmas when he could only take a few pictures. Luckily, memory cards are relatively cheap, and he was able to buy one with some babysitting money he had earned the day after Christmas (yes, if we had realized that it needed a card, we certainly would have bought it for him as part of his gift, but since it was after the holiday, we figured it was a way for him to realize that electronic items often have extra costs associated with them).
I got several great items, one of which was the Shark floor cleaner, which steams and sanitizes as it cleans. Yes, I am a dork and get excited over new cleaning tools. It started very early in life; when I was 7 I started asking for a dust buster every year for Christmas (never got one, I think my parents could not rationalize it in their heads).
We were able to Skype my family Christmas morning, and my folks "watched" us open presents, which is nice. It was the next best thing to being at home for the holidays. In fact, that was what they wanted for Christmas, to be Skyped each month, mostly so they can see how Jman is growing and stay connected in his life.
I hope everyone else had a blessed, peaceful holiday. Here is to a new year full of growth and promise.

"Brothers"

*Caution* Depressing post ahead...don't read if already feeling miserable.


My husband and I saw "Brothers", the movie, starring Jake G. (don't ask me to spell his name), Tobey M., and Natalie Portman, . If you do not already know, it is a movie about a soldier (Tobey) who is going back to Afghanistan, leaving his wife and brother, (Jake) newly released from prison at home. Tobey is reported killed in action, Jake becomes part of Natalie's family life, Tobey comes back and tries to readjust to the world.
The acting was very realistic in this movie. So much so that I would strongly recommend that anyone in the military, married to someone in the military, or even someone ex military should not see it, it cuts that close to home. I cried almost the entire time.
As we left the theater, I looked at my husband, waiting for his response. It took him a bit, then he said "well, that was certainly not a comedy". He also agreed that no military person should see it, nor anyone interested in even joining the military, again, because it was too realistic.
It got me thinking. I've asked my husband before, who would they send if he was killed in the line of duty, would they wait until I came home from work, or would they come to my work. Way back when he first joined the military, I broached this topic, he was taken aback, but now, he understands it is my way of coping of what might be. I've asked that he arrange to have certain members of his squad come, since I would recognize them (I don't know all of them and really would not want this news from a "stranger"). I've debated whether or not I would stay in Texas, where my son has lived over half his life or if I would move back east to where most of our family is located I've mentioned that I would get a dog, since we can't have one now since he is allergic to them. He gets insulted at the thought that he could be replaced by a dog, but it is more that I would need something to distract me, to love me unconditionally without expectations during that trying time. Back when he was just coming out of basic training and they were deciding whether or not to send him to Iraq, Italy, or Germany; I remember taking long walks with my dog, since no one around me was involved with the military, so they could not offer me the comfort I needed. It was my dog who kept me strong.

Insurance runaround

My insurance company and I like to play a game every year, it's called "how many times does Dawn have to call the insurance company before they pay a claim".
My insurance company likes to keep me on my toes by denying my son's claim every year, even though it for my son's preexisting condition which they know about. It's quite frustrating, since every time I call, the rep will look at our account and agree with me that it should be paid, but she can't fix it, it has to go to her supervisor. OF course, none of the reps. give out their full names, they always insist their comments will be saved in the file. They never are, and I have to explain yet again what the problem is the next time I call.
It's funny, because when I call, I get the "you've been selected to respond to a customer satisfaction survey" request. One of the questions is whether or not I believe that the insurance company is responding in a quick and a caring matter. Sure they are, in fact, they care so much about him, they insist I fax them his medical records for the past x number of years (working on year 6 now)., just so they can review them and get to know him all over again.
I don't know where they are putting the old copies, perhaps they are using them as alternative fuel for their fireplaces; money's tight all over, even for them.

Quote of the day

“I know God would never give me more than I can handle, but sometimes I wish He didn’t trust me so much"

-Mother Theresa

Thanksgiving day jingle

"Turkey Day, Turkey Day, Turkey Day is only days way. Turkey Day, Turkey Day, Turkey Day is only days way."

This is the song my son was singing to himself as he was reading the paper today. It made me laugh out loud, he really loves all the food and family that Thanksgiving brings.

Lime tree

Last Christmas I received a gift card to a local nursery, since I wanted to plant some fruit trees in my yard. I bought a key lime tree, with the thought that it would probably produce fruit in 3 years. Jman was in the yard yesterday and he discovered our first lime, almost ready to pick, with another one just starting. I'm so excited, since I use lime in Thai dishes that I cook, and several of my baking recipes call for them as well. It is an item that I never have on hand, or buy and forget in the crisper of the fridge.

Key lime pie here I come!

Good news

Yesterday we had to take J to a specialist for a health problem that seems to run in my family. Last week we found out my 5 year old nephew would be going for surgery for a very similar problem. I was afraid while we were at our appointment yesterday that we would be told that J needed surgery as well.
J has had surgery once before in his young life, and I did not deal with it well. He had a difficult time coming out of the anesthesia, not waking up, vomiting as he was unconscious, with hubby and I not able to do anything to help. As I stood by watching his small, tiny body (he was 2) on that large sterile hospital bed, I was struck such pain in my heart from my powerlessness to help him that I almost fainted. I said to my mother at that time that I could never go through that again (obviously that statement was from an emotional standpoint, realistically I would be sure to get the health care he needed).
So, when I found out that he might have to go for surgery again, I was rather distraught. This last month of waiting for his appointment with the specialist has been one full of stress. As we got closer and closer to the date of his appointment, I became more and more nervous.
Luckily, the doctor determined that J does not need surgery. We will watch his condition and reevaluate next year, but it looks good that he will not need the surgery ever. Whoohoo!
Now I need to focus on giving my sister the support she needs to get her son through surgery.

Blue October

I thought I might share some music with you. This song just seems to describe my life to a "T" right about now. "Life's like a jump rope, up down, up down, up down"...describes a lot of folks lives right about now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7eyqCQYBGY

I'll go into more detail after tomorrow, lots of meetings, doctor's appointments, etc. whose outcomes may be good, they may be bad, we shall see.

Swine Flu

Swine Flu has struck hard in our neighbor hood. One day alone last week, 43 children went home sick from the elementary school. 2 of my neighbor's children came down with it, and within 48 hours the oldest was diagnosed with pneumonia. Poor kid was admitted to the hospital yesterday, and they gave him massive doses of antibiotics in an attempt to turn it around. They released him from the hospital today, with things looking a little more positive than they did yesterday. Unfortunately, his poor mother, who has been nursing both boys to health, is not doing so well. While at the hospital by his bed, she became ill, and was rushed to the emergency room herself. She too had become infected.
Her husband, who is not used to dealing with all 4 kids by himself (they are all 8 and under), was looking rather frazzled when I saw him this afternoon. I felt so bad for them, so I brought over a home-cooked dinner. I had told his wife earlier that I was going to do that, but that was before she became so ill and I guess she forgot to tell him because when I came knocking at his door at 6pm he seemed overjoyed to see me. He said he had just told the 4 children that they would have to go out and get something since he had nothing ready for them (in his defense, he normally is the one who makes dinner at there house, but he had to leave the house this afternoon so that realtors could show it to possible buyers). Hopefully they liked it.

Advice anyone?

We are at a tough spot with J, he has no desire to do any of his school projects; when he does work on them he either does the bare minimum or claims he "does not know" or "can't think of anything", which is bull, since we've discussed the projects in detail at dinner or in the car to make sure he does know what he needs to do.
We are at our wits end with him, and have no idea how to get him to do his work. His normal homework has him working into the evening, so he has no outside time as it is. He does not watch TV during the week, and he has lost weekend TV whenever he has not done his projects. He has lost gymnastics each week he has not done his work. Nothing we say or do seems to get through to him. When we try to sit with him and ask questions to get him thinking, all he responds is "I don't know" even if it is a simple question such as "do you want to write this report on paper or on the computer?" I've offered to type as he dictates, so that he won't be frustrated trying to type or write. He answers no to that suggestion. I'm tired of fighting with him, I'm tired with fighting with my husband over him. I'm just tired.
Any suggestions?