My favorite teacher

After reading another's blog, I thought I might comment on a teacher that influenced my life as a child. It would be my second grade teacher, Ms. Terry.
Ms. Terry was a very fair teacher. She did not necessarily have all the extra games some of the other teachers had, but she did have the ability to make every one of her students feel special.
I was very shy as a child and did not speak up much (in fact, there was some question as to whether or not I had a learning disability since I did not speak at all outside of my family), but I did like to write poetry. As a gift to her at one of her holiday parties, I gave her one of my poems. Later on, when the other kids started asking where my gift to her was, she simply told them that I had already given it to her; saving me any embarrassment over the type of gift I had given her.
She did not stop there. She continued to nurture my writing throughout the school year, encouraging me to open my heart and let the words flow. She followed my school career and let my next few teachers know that I had a "talent" that should be encouraged.
What a kind heart she had. I always wanted to tell her how much I appreciated her, but we moved away and I don't know where she is at now.

School's Out for Summer

My son finished school this past Wednesday and we have a long summer ahead of us. Well, not that long since school starts back August 10. We had a very trying year, as I had many battles with his teachers.
He is ADHD, but I did not wish to medicate him, at least not immediately. There are many techniques that instructors can implement that can be beneficial for the troubled student while still being nondispruptive to the rest of the class. Unfortunately, I had to keep reminding his teachers that these would not be temporary fixes, that they had to be continuously enforced in order for them to be successful. I also had to remind them that taking recess away from an ADHD kid is not the brightest thing to do, even if it is to finish school work especially since they can just send the work home with him and know that I would get him to do it that evening. This also applies to taking lunch time away, which is absolutely unacceptable since they don't normally have enough time to finish eating as it is.

Of course, I understand where these teachers are coming from. I know how strict the testing is in this part of the country and that the school district that we live in is one of the top ones around; but come on, let the kids be kids a little longer. He was only in first grade and he had to move from classroom to classroom, switching teachers throughout the day. I would like him to think of school as a positive experience, not a torture chamber.

Visiting home

I get to visit my relatives up north in a few days, just the boy and I (I gave up on trying to get my sweetie to take time off - he works crazy hours and always seems to have something big going on during the times of the year when I want to take a vacation). I had planned on keeping this trip a secret from his family, with visits to my side only, a few trips to the beach and to the casino (the boy will not come along for that trip). I have met some resistance with this plan, since Sweetie insists that I should see his Dad, who misses my son, and visit with the great-grandparents (who knows how much longer they will be arond...). Plus his mom said that she would like to take my son overnight the next time we visit...

I understand the logic of this, but the flip side is that I can't just visit one of them, I have to visit all of them and there are step-relations involved as well. Plus, if I was to go to a backyard bar-b-que with everyone there, it would not be enough. No, I would be asked "When will you come visit at my house?" Am I not visiting with you now? I do love his relations, but they are time demanding.

When we visit up North, we normally stay at my parent's house but we shirk my side of the family to go to the numerous family functions his side has("It's Great Aunt Betty's annual Memorial Day Bar-b-que. No she isn't really your aunt and you've only met her twice but she is expecting you to come.") So, my folks get to see their grandson when he wakes up in the morning, but that's about it. And see my brother??? Never happens.

We'll see how it goes. I really would like to surprise my brother-in-law on his birthday, but I can't count on his 2 1/2 year old and 4 y.o. to keep quiet the next time they see their grandma.

Baby blues

I was out with the girls last night and we were discussing babies, how some want more and others are fine with the number they have. I only have one child, and plan not to have any more. Do I feel bad he doesn't have sibling..sure I do, but I also realize that if I were to have another child, there is a very good chance that I would hurt that baby.

You see, when my son was born, I did not feel any maternal connection to him. In fact, I can honestly say I did not even like him for the first two years of his life. Yes, this is very sad, but at the time I did not realize just how bad things were. I had post partum depression, but blamed it on everything else. We had moved to Ft. bragg, my sweetie was not around much, family was far away...you get the picture.

My husband knew something was wrong, but he thought I just was upset because I was stuck at home and my son was a colicky baby. We also debated long and hard about having children, me not necessarily wanting them but giving in in the end.

We moved after one year to Long Island, NY, where I still was miserable, but this time I thought it was due to the monetary constraints we were feeling at the time, and because I never saw my husband (I worked nights and weekends so that we did not have to pay daycare costs). We never really discussed how I was feeling, but we should have.

So many woman figure they will shake off the "baby blues", but it is not that easy. I wasted 2 years of my sons life, wishing he was never born; when I could have been happy, enjoying his gurgles and coos. Did I think it was a sign weakness to get medication? I don't know. On some level I knew I was depressed, in fact was on the look out for it since it runs in my family, but I couldn't act on it to get help. Now, I have a good support system and friends who will be straight with me and tell me that I need help. Sometimes, it is that push that we need to do something. I share my story with my friends hopefully to wake them up, and let them know that it is OK to look for that extra help, that if you suspect something is wrong, it is and you need to do something about it. No one should "miss" those first few years, especially when they have a great kid like my son.

Crawdads, crayfish, roaches that swim in the ocean

I love seafood...well, most seafood. Tonight my sweetie had a crawfish boil waiting for me when I got home from work. He and my son were out shopping and saw crayfish for sale outside the local supermarket. They tried some and decided to bring them home.

To me, they are not worth the effort. They are miniaturized lobsters that look like they were run on the "high" cycle in the dryer one too many times. You expend more energy cracking them open looking for that 1/2 teaspoon of meat then you do eating them.

And then there is the smell. My house is going to reek for the next week or so, smelling like a rotten sewer or a festering bayou in the hot August sun.

Happy Mother's Day

In honor of Mother's Day, I am going to let you peruse the "book" my son made me for Mother's Day. The beginning phrases were given to him and he filled in the endings.

My Mom is special because...she always picks me up at my bus stop.

My Mom can do many things! I think she is best at... throwing a frisbee.

My Mom has a pretty smile. I like to make her smile by...getting good notes home (this is a source of constant friction in our house, more on it some other day).

My Mom looks prettiest when ...she's happy (isn't this true for everyone?What insight my 6 year old has).

My Mom is the funniest when ..she's acting like dad (you know who the disciplinarian is in our house).

My Mom is smart! She even knows...hard math (that first grade math is pretty tough:)).

I want my Mom to always remember me...in the snow (I don't know why, perhaps he's missing New England winters).

This is better than two years ago - then I was great because I could paint a bathroom.

The best part of the day - his excitement as he gave me this book. He is so special, and I don't always take the time to appreciate him. Happy Mother's Day everyone.

Excuses, excuses, excuses

Wow, it has been a long time since I last blogged. Well, to be truthfull not that long - I just can't get my post to publish for some freakish reason or another.
Plus, I've been really busy with work, taking extra hours on. Then there is the new job I've got on alternating weekends. I don't have enough time to keep the day-to-day operations of my home going, never mind blogging.

Case in point, when I looked in my freezer yesterday to take something out for dinner I found the following:

1/4 full bag of Mexican blend shredded cheese

1 box of Toaster Strudels (Not a very nutritious breakfast, but good for when we can't seem to get ourselves moving in the morning. Plus, you get a great sugar rush off the frosting)

1/2 a package of Jumbo (and I mean huge) hotdogs left over from pre-World Series.
My sweetie had a craving for those huge hot dogs you usually only get at the ball park. My son and I hate them, which is why they are still in the freezer and not eaten.

2 frozen go-gurts (liquid yogurt tubes)

a tray of very old ice

several boxes of frozen vegetables

True the grocery store is only a few minutes away, but the point is I always have food in my freezer. My pantry is stocked with 4 different types of sugar, 6 various vinegars and three oils. My neighbors know that if they need some staple I have it, or at least I used to. What has happened to me?!?