Recently here in Texas there was a shooting death of an officer during a "routine" traffic stop and arrest. While watching this breaking news, I got me thinking about what I would do if I was the spouse in this situation. This is a possibility not to far from reality, since hubby is in a law enforcement field, and does deal with some rather dangerous folks at times (he also deals with the relatively harmless loonies, but I digress). In fact, I have dreamed the scenario several times, with frighteningly realistic details.
I even have discussed this with some other wives I know whose husbands are also in the "business". We've debated over who would be best to have by your side when the news was broken to you, whether we would scream or just stare silently as we were told, would we move or keep the homes we are in, etc. I think I would just keep repeating, "No, no, no" and "go away" to the folks who came to tell me.
My hubby finds it a bit morbid, especially since it is his death I am contemplating, but I think of it as more of a realist's point of view. I may not be able to control other's actions, but I can be prepared when they influence my life. It is one of the reasons I refuse to carry any debt (other than house and car). I have a part time job, but it would not support us. Therefore, we need to be in the best financial situation before anything happens. If I were to loose my husband, I could not imagine loosing my home as well and therefore traumatizing my son even more so than he already would be. I'm lucky in that I would have options - I could stay where I am now or move back to the east coast where much of our family is located - but they are options I hope I never have to use.