As we approach the 10th anniversary of 9/11, there has been a ramping up of news stories about that fateful day. Every time a segment comes on the T.V. about, I change the channel. It's not that I don't care or that I do not think that it is necessary for those born after the date or were too young to comprehend the tragedy, it's just too much for me.
We had just moved out of New York a few months before the incident and the feelings that I felt from that day were horrible. I remember calling and calling friends to see if they had survived and not getting through, as all the phone lines were busy. I remember my father-in-law responding to ground zero and not knowing for days where he was and if he was O.K. (he was fine, he does suffer from PTSD and breathing problems now related to the incident). So every time something comes up about it, I can't help but say, "NO, I don't want to relive that". Even now, just typing this brings up tears and anxiety.
My reaction reminds me of some of the reactions of my husband's grandparents and their friends to footage of the D-Day invasion. They too can not watch, even after all these years, because the memories of who they lost, of what the country suffered is too great.
So to those who know me; when I change the conversation, it is not because I am unsympathetic or heartless, it just too much for me.