3 days off

I finished my first semester back at school and now have a whole 3 days off before the next classes begin for me. I don't know what to do with all this free time. Well, that's not entirely correct. I have a list that is a mile long of chores and errands that I have been putting off for the past few months. I've got to work on a Boy Scout fundraiser that I am in charge of (we're selling first aid kits) since no one else was willing to step-up and do anything. I'm also going to get some "pleasure" reading in, since the last 4 months have given me little chance to read anything other than textbooks.

I'm also applying for entrance into my Physical Therapy Assistant program. There is a whole rubric of ways to achieve points for the program, I hope I have enough to qualify. Wish me luck. I really hope I can into my program this September, otherwise I wait an entire year until they accept people again. I have a plan, a delay is not in that plan.

Shark attack

I was attacked by a shark today! OK, it wasn't a real shark, it was my Shark steam floor cleaner. I was happily cleaning my floor when I noticed that the steam had stopped coming out of the cleaning pad. After "pumping" the mop a few times, I decided to take the bottom attachment off to see if steam was even flowing. As soon as I depressed the button to release it, there was an explosive force from it coming off. Seems the steam had been flowing all along, but there was a blockage at its release point. Luckily, I did not have mop head pointed at my own head, since the force was like rocket propulsion.
With this being said, it might be my fault that this happened. You see, in the instructions for this mop, it does say to use distilled water only. Obviously, they know something about mineral build-up from evaporation of tap water. I ignored that recommendation and paid the consequences. I'm now trying to salvage my shark by soaking it in vinegar to dissolve the build-up.

May flowers

May is just around the corner which also means the end of the school year is fast approaching as well. I'm looking forward to it, as this summer I will not be working everyday and I will be able to spend time with J. I have to say, even though school has its own stressed, I am certainly much more relaxed and happy then I was a year ago. Now if only I could win powerball so that I could quit my weekend job - that would make me truly happy.

Unfortunately, with the summer comes drought, and here in TX we are already in a severe drought without any relief in sight. I'm afraid my tomato and pepper plants might not produce much for me. My poor plants do not look happy, even though I water them regularly. I think the dry hard clay-like ground is stressing them out. Either that or they are suffering from some sort of blight, which would not be unheard of, what with me and my brown thumb.

Monday, Monday

You know your day is off to a bad start when you spill wax all over your bathroom walls, sinks, and countertops, then you tear your p.j. as you walk down the stairs to get something to scrape up the wax, and are faced with only a half-cup of coffee to start the day...all before 7 am.

Hoarders in a good way

Our home recently looked like an episode of "Hoarders", but for a good reason. You see, J recently did a food drive in connection with a scout advancement requirement. He was a smart child; instead of going door to door, he contacted one of my professors at school for assistance. This professor had recently had lectures on starvation and how people in our country don't do enough to help out, so J thought it would be a good idea to see if he wanted to join in a food drive for our local food pantry.
The professor was more than happy to help - not only did he had out J's flyers, he offered extra credit to the students who donated to the drive. He also convinced some of the other professors to participate as well, which meant a hugely successful drive for J. We did several pick-ups during the 2 week food drive, with the final pick-up being so large that I had to leave J at the college, because the car was full to the roof! (Luckily, the college is connected to our library and J was able to do some science fair research while I made the 5 minute drive home to unload some of the goods to make room for him in the car)
Want to guess the final tally of items collected?
...

The final total of items was 767.

New years resolutions

One of my New Year's resolutions was to take care of my health, to go make those appointments that I had been putting off for literally years. I already went to my physical, where my doctor gave me several referrals, one to a GI doctor. Seems that it is not normal to suffer severe pain whenever you drink something as simple as water. I did go see the GI, who set me up for a 'scope, with is almost 2 months away. In the meantime, I've been given a restricted diet; no tomatoes, no soda, no coffee, no tea, no chocolate, no mint, no citrus, no spicy food, no onions, no fatty foods. I believe it leaves me with gruel as my choice of foods!
I am going to try to follow this diet, but I need my cup of coffee in the morning, it gets me through the day. The last two days have been horrible, I have had severe head attacks and migraines (caffeine helps prevent migraines). I'm going to stick it out for another day, if my headache is still there, I'm going back to my coffee.

My new volunteering gig

I've really gotten into the swing of things, with school, work, and now my volunteer hours at a physical therapy office. Although I'm not too fond of one of my classes (philosophy and I do not mix), I do enjoy my time at the PT office. We are required to do at least 40 hours at a PT office before we are even allowed into the program, because they want us to be sure that this job is our true passion. I can say, as of right now, it is the path for me. The patients are wonderful, from the young woman with the brain injury to the elderly stroke victim. I've had a few things revealed to me that I had not expected (Patient: I can have sex without pain, my back doesn't hurt then, ME: (in my head) TMI, TMI! ).
It looks chaotic from the outside but from the inside you realize just how much work the PT's are doing. The office runs like a well-oiled machine, with each patient getting the care they need and deserve, 4-8 patients at a time, it is amazing to me.

When you're in a funk...

Winter, especially this winter that seems to the beginning of a new ice age, often lends itself to funkville, ie. the being in a rut. New year's resolutions have gone by the wayside and folks are looking for something more in their lives. I really like list on the website I've got listed below, it really does have some create ideas to get the creative juices flowing.

http://writetodone.com/2010/06/28/201-ways-to-arouse-your-creativity/

School started

I started school this week, one face-to-face class and two online classes. I admit, I've had several panic attacks this week, with the thought of "what have I gotten myself into". I was telling this to my hubby, and he couldn't quite grasp why I was panicking. I believe it is my fear of the unknown, as I have not had experience with online classes, and the need to set my own deadlines is throwing me off. I'm afraid I'll forget a date when something is due, or that there will just be too much work for me to do and I'll fall behind. Luckily, I've been somewhat consoled, as a friend of mine happens to be in my face-to-face class and she too admits to the stomach-clenching knots. I know I have the knowledge to complete the classes, but emotionally I'm still not sure.

Bucket list

The other day, as we sat around not doing anything yet again, I asked my husband if he had anything planned for his day. Of course, it was his usual of just working out. I realized that both he and I are in a terrible rut when it comes to change in our lives, and our son sees it as normal to "do nothing, accomplish nothing". So, I "went fishing" for ideas for what we could do, maybe something on hubby's bucket list. Only, he does not have a bucket list. "Well then," I said, "what did you want to do as a kid?" He listed several occupations, all of which (besides astronaut) he had done at some point in his like. "No, no, what else? Other than a job?" Again, he listed items, items which he can still accomplish and will probably. Once of them, the advanced degree he is looking for, we've discussed before. It is something he will go for as he gets to retirement, to make it a more marketable viable degree. He wants to run a marathon - no problem, he is already running everyday, he can do it.
He didn't ask me what I had on my bucket list, as I had caught him between his run and weights workout. Besides, what I would like to accomplish are goals that are a bit unrealistic. I still want a Nobel Prize. I know, you have to have expertise in some aspect of your life to qualify, and I do not have that, but it is a dream I've had since I was 8. That novel that I am not writing could possibly accomplish this; of course, it would have to be written, which means I would need some idea about what I was to write.
I'd like to be a hero, like one of the people who tackled the shooter in the AZ shooting. I know, another odd, unrealistic goal. I know I would react in the situation, I just don't think I'll ever be in that situation - it's not like I am a hostage negotiator.
I'd like to save a life, which goes along with the hero thing, although it could be as simple as performing CPR, the Heimlich manuever, of applying pressure to a gushing wound. As an EMT and as a medical assistant in an emergency clinic, I have dealt with life or death situations, but I don't think that my efforts alone ever "saved" anyone, it was always a team effort.
So, what's on your bucket list?

What to do?

Folks who stay home all day, what do they do? I'm not talking mothers of small children, I know they're playing clean-up and catch-up all day. No, I'm talking about folks like me, who have their children in school full-time. Ones who are not volunteering their time for good causes.
I'm guessing they have pretty clean homes. If I was a good mother and wife, I would be vacuuming every day, mopping, dusting, etc. I guess I'm not, since I figure my once a week standard for most things should work, as it has worked for the past 6 years. My husband does not see dirt, as we confirmed last night when he "helped" me clean-up a mess I spilled up the floor. After he was done, I looked down and saw the food still on the floor. He literally did not see it all he swore it must have appeared there after he wiped up my mess. My son is the same way, so if they don't care, should I stress over it? I'll end up being cranky when they do drop crumbs on the floor or don't put their laundry away as soon as they come home.
We'll see how it goes. For now, I think catching up on some of my reading is an ideal use of my time. That and scheduling all those annoying maintenance appointments that I usually don't have time for (ie. carpet cleaning, car tune-up, dentist cleanings, haircut, etc). I've already got the appointment set for my truck recall.

So this is what my blog looks like...

Hi everyone, if anyone is still there. Yes, it has been very long since I blogged. I allowed my life to take over my enjoyment in writing, and I had stopped making time for it. This has changed, as with the new year I have made many changes.
My job of 6 years is no more, I turned in my keys at the end of December. I realize this may seem counter-intuitive when you consider the state of our economy, but it was a necessity for my sanity. I knew it was the right choice when I told my boss I was leaving - instead of asking me to stay, she simply asked me to please put it in writing. This is a job where I have received numerous awards of recognition for my work, so it was a bit disheartening to not be at least asked to reconsider my decision.
I do have another job, one that is weekends only. It is mindless, but at least I know that going into it. Yes, I may not enjoy the time away from the family; however, I do need to fund my new endeavors, one of which is going back to school. I am heading back to become a physical therapist, with the 1st step being me getting my physical therapist assistant certification. I may be making a change, but I do have an eye on our bank account and know that I need to get back full-time into the workforce sooner than later.
In the meantime, I am greatly enjoying my time off. I love the freedom during the day, the peace and quiet of the house. I am jumping through hoops trying to get my plan in place (20 year old transcripts don't always transfer easily), but I am OK with that. Life is good.

Quote of the day

‎"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within." - Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Losses and gains

My dad has a serious woodworking accident this morning, cutting his hand so badly that three fingers were amputated. I, living thousands of miles from home, came home to this message on the machine, "Hi Dawn, this is Mom, I need you to call me. Things are O.K. but they are not O.K". Why the odd message? Well, my family does not normally leave messages unless there has been a death, it was my mom's way of letting me know no one died, but that something had happened.
They have spent the entire day at the hospital, with consultations and surgeries. Family members have tried to be supportive, with one comment that almost sent my mom over the edge "it's not so bad, at least it's only his fingers". Luckily, mom held her tongue, and did not lash out with the response that she really wanted to say, which was "oh yeah, lets chop off your fingers and see how you feel".
My poor dad, he is a woodworker at heart; every room in the house has some piece of furniture that he has built. Either that or he has built the actual room (one "family bonding" project we had as children was building the addition on the house). To take away his ability to hold a hammer and nail is devastating.
Do you know what worried him more? It was that they had to cut off his wedding ring. In the 40 years he has been married, he has never removed it. I think that action really brought home the seriousness of the injury more than anything else.
My mom, well, she was forced to face the fact that she may lose my dad some day, and it may be sooner than later. It scared her, a lot.
Dad, in his attempt to make us feel better, told us to tell the grand kids that he would not play rock, paper, scissors any more since he'll only be able to throw rock. I told this to Jman early in the day, in the evening he asked me if Papa had cut off both hands, I said no. Jman responded, "well, then he can play with his other hand". He's trying to process it too.

Cleaning

I decided today's task would be cleaning out the spare bedroom's closet - stuff in there has never been unpacked from our last move 7 years ago. I think it is safe to let it go. Of course, I did have to go through every box first, just in case. I find plenty that I had no use to me any more: old school papers on archaeology that I would not be referencing any time in the future, give-away totes that needed to be given away themselves, old textbooks (whose info is quite outdated), etc. I did find a few treasures too: hubby's watch from our first anniversary together, missing for over a decade; part of my fountain pen collection that I thought had been lost in a military move years ago, and lots of letters from hubby during his many deployments plus a few from his squad members, one of which still touches my heart to this day.
Back when we lived overseas, the wives had a "birthday club" that made sure that every soldier got a card for his birthday, no matter where he was that day. We drew names, and would often send a cake as well if possible. I sent a card to my soldier while the company was deployed in Bosnia (this was the initial deployment, tents only, no showers, no rec area, bare minimum everything), making sure it was sent out in time to arrive on his birthday.
The dear boy actually wrote me a letter back, telling me how his card brought him happiness for his birthday since no one else had taken the time to send him a card or to acknowledge his day. He commented on how he felt that we wives appreciated him and his fellow soldiers and that we a good support for them and that we brought a smile to his face in place where that was not happening very often.

Do I need to say that that letter got tucked back into a box, to be saved for another 15 years?

How do you know if you make a difference?

I wish there was a way to know if you made a difference in someone's life, something like the sound of a bell ringing, like in "It's a Wonderful Life". It would help so much to know that your actions really do make a difference to someone.

Summer

Summer in Texas is hot, there is no denying it. It is also humid, and this summer, incredibly rainy. However, I love summer. It gives me the freedom to enjoy my time with J, without having to fight over things like homework and project due dates. He has grown into such a remarkable young man. I know that I can trust him and that he will help around house without complaint, all I need to do is leave him a list. When I come home from work, he is brimming over with thoughts from the day, and he wants to share them with me. I am treasuring this time, because I know soon enough, he will not want to talk to me at all. It'll probably start with the new school year.
I am so appreciative of the fact that I've recognized this, and that I am taking the time to be grateful for this.

Teaching the boy to drive

Lately, J has been asking us to teach him to drive. I'm not sure why, but my almost 12 year old has go it into his head that now is the time, and honestly, I don't see why not. My husband took him out tonight to practice in a local church parking lot.

Are we crazy? No, we have a standard 1995 Neon that we are using to teach him to drive. We hold this theory - the passenger can throw the car into neutral and pull the emergency brake. Plus, he is not allowed to shift out of first gear. It is an easy car to handle, and honestly, if he burns out the starter or the clutch, well, it is a 1995 Neon, it is not much of a loss. As it is, to quote hubby, "he turns like the Queen Mary" (does a demonstration of hands at 10 and 2 o'clock, primly turning a pretend steering wheel). Also, J is still young enough that he is actually listening to us when we explain things, unlike an older teen.

J came home very excited, he told me he "parked" the car all by himself . He told my husband that he is pretty sure that he is the only (almost) 12 year old practicing to drive in the neighborhood. He also informed me that I get to take him out practicing next time. Not sure how I feel about that one...

Serious talks about depression

This weekend we searched for a missing teenager, a teenager that disappeared a month ago. They don't know if she was abducted, murdered, or even if she wandered off to commit suicide. There is absolutely no trace of her. I was searching side by side with this poor girl's grandfather, for who the process of searching was his only hope of recovering his granddaughter. Of course, while searching for someone else's lost child, I could not help but think of my own.

So this afternoon, I sat my son down for a serious conversation. My family has a history of depression, on my mother's side, so I thought it would a good time to talk to J about it. When I was younger, my sister was suicidal and spent time in a psychiatric hospital. She had a chemical imbalance, and she needed counseling and medication to help her get better. I also remember something my brother once said to me as an adult, that he wished someone had noticed how depressed he was as a kid. It was hard, to bring about such a "taboo" topic, but I don't want him to ever get to the point where he believes life is worthless, that no one wants him, that he should just "disappear". So I told him that it would crush me if he ever disappeared like this poor teenager, that it would also shatter his grandparents who love him more than you would think possible. I mentioned that it is o.k. to be sad, but that sometimes, that sadness just does not go away, and that sometimes we all need more help, such as talking to someone ( not necessarily me) or even medication. I wanted him to know that he is worth something, that his life has purpose, something that he would not necessarily believe if he was depressed.

As a parent, this is not a topic that I was ever warned about that I would need to discuss, but with cyberbullying so prevalent these days, and it's evil effects, I had to broach this topic. He is a very "sensitive" kid, and more isolated than some. J's reaction was interesting, he told me it made him feel like he needed to draw or to write, I'm guessing to express his feelings. When I checked him after bedtime, his light was still on, and he was writing. Instead of my normal reaction of turning the light off immediately, I simply closed the door to let him finish.

Proud mother

J had his court of honor tonight and moved up in the Boy Scout ranks. It was interesting watching him interact with the other scouts. He was so mature and attentive. At the ceremony, he was accidentally given an award he had not earned. He spoke up immediately and said he did not earn it. As far as his troop was concerned, they had already logged him as accomplishing the task; he could have said nothing, but he didn't. He is an virtuous boy and would never accept reward for something he did not achieve completely. It made my heart swell, knowing that I have raised him to be an honest individual with good morals and character.